


hey dead girl...

by florallemur



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I am so sorry, Sad Alex, Unhappy Ending, sad lena, super sad, there is death but its like sara lance dying so not really a big deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 05:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florallemur/pseuds/florallemur
Summary: hey, dead boycan I kiss you on the mouth?and hey, dead boyhow are you feeling now?quit floating through my wallsyou’re everywhere and nowhere at allhey, dead boyi’m tired of sleeping on the phonei wonder when you’re coming home to brooklynyou promised you would, to brooklyn





	hey dead girl...

**Author's Note:**

> i am blaming mir's (ig:leksaluthor) and mady's (ig:angelicorigin) edits for this fic  
> the song is called dead boy by vague002 and it's so fucking sad  
> anyways enjoy this sad ass fic
> 
> [hey, dead boy  
> can I kiss you on the mouth?  
> and hey, dead boy  
> how are you feeling now?  
> quit floating through my walls  
> you’re everywhere and nowhere at all  
> hey, dead boy  
> i’m tired of sleeping on the phone  
> i wonder when you’re coming home to brooklyn  
> you promised you would, to brooklyn]

Lena knew how serious Kara’s injuries were. She did the math. Kara had a 43% chance of surviving. And the odds weren’t in her favor.

Each day she visited Kara trying not to burst out in tears. She was looking at her best friend bruised and cut laying in a coma in a secret military base and she couldn’t do anything.

Lena didn’t realize Kara was Supergirl until James started making horrible excuses for Kara being out so long. It was a shock but then an over whelming relief passed over Lena once she realized why she chose not to see it sooner.

Lena saw Kara this bubbly, ray of literal sunshine so refreshing. Kara made her day better even though sometimes Kara did seem distracted it was nice to have her around. Lena didn’t get that feeling with Supergirl. It was more Supergirl purposefully trying to distance herself and Lena ignoring it and wanting to help her and loved her more than she already did. Supergirl made Lena tougher while Kara melted her heart and that’s what made seeing Kara as Supergirl all the harder.

Lena knew when people were lying to her. That was true, but Kara put that “truth” in a different perspective. Although Lena didn’t know Supergirl was her best friend, Kara was never not Supergirl and Supergirl is never not Kara.

It was an elegant take on Supergirl’s secret identity, but it was true. Kara held Supergirl from being inhuman and insensitive while Supergirl made Kara tougher and more caring. It was an odd perspective, yes, but it meant Kara never truly lied to her.

Now, Lena hoped Kara would wake up and fly her back to her apartment, so they could watch movies and discuss the thousands of questions Lena had. It was a ridiculous idea. Not even an idea but a dream.

Lena felt useless sitting next to Kara’s bed. All she could do was stare. She could only stare at the girl who changed her for the best.  
She fixed a hair that got stuck on Kara’s bandage and stared some more. She was still beautiful. It was odd how beautiful she looked after dying and coming back to life, after being prodded with needles, after being stuck in this cold room. After all that she looked absolutely stunning.

A hand touched her shoulder, “You should really go home Lena.” It was Alex, her voice was hoarse.

Lena leaned back into the chair she was sitting in, “You say that every time I come here.”

Alex’s hand fell, and she pulled a chair next to Lena, “And yet you never leave.”

“I leave, and I feel useless. I don’t leave, and I feel useless, but I’m here with Kara.” Lena smiled, “I would rather have the second option. Wouldn’t you?”

Alex looked at her sister and then back at Lena, “Any option with Kara is a better option,” She sighed, “But seeing her like this just hurts.”

Lena looked down at her hands in her lap, “I know but I just…I just can’t do anything else.” Lena swore at herself as she felt the tears burning behind her eyes. She let out a shaky breath, “I am just so lost without her here and now I realize…” Lena stopped herself at what she was going to say next.

“You realize?”  
Lena looked at Alex and back at her hands, “Nothing. I just miss her.”

Alex squinted at Lena but decided to ignore questioning further, “So, do I.”

After that Alex left and once again it was just Lena, well, Lena and Kara. Lena should’ve done what Alex suggested and went home but she couldn’t, not quite yet. As she stared at Kara, Lena thought about what she was going to say when she was talking to Alex.

She did realize something. She knew she loved Kara, just not like that. It scared her even more now. What if she never got to tell Kara how she felt? Or she did, and Kara didn’t accept her.

Lena shook the thoughts from her head. She couldn’t think of that now. Not now, not when Kara is still healing.

Lena scooted closer to Kara’s bed. She grabbed her hand, it was cold but still soft. Lena stared at Kara for a moment before raising Kara’s hand to her closely to her lips, “I’m sorry…” She softly pecked the back of her hand before resting her head against part Kara’s stomach and the bed.

She fell asleep almost instantly. She dreamt about Kara which wasn’t surprising, but it felt fake. Kara was there but any time Lena looked at her eyes they had no life to them. It was like Kara was physically there but not emotionally. There was no spark or light in her, just a dull shell going through the motions. Everything was the same until dream Kara kissed her and kept kissing her but when Lena pulled away to breath it wasn’t Kara anymore, well it was but it wasn’t dream Kara, it was the Kara lying unconscious in the concrete that night. There was blood tripping from her forehead to her chin, a large purple bruise surrounded her eye, and her lip was cut.

And before Lena could say anything a horrible ringing pierced her ears and she woke up. Winn was pulling her away from Kara while Alex threw the pillows from underneath Kara’s head on the floor. The heart monitor was flatlining. Kara was flatlining.

Lena tried to run back to Kara, but Winn held on. She screamed until James grabbed her from Winn and took her away. She hit him and flailed until he let her go.

Lena wiped the tears from her face, “Why?! Why did you pull me away?” She shouted, her voice cracking.

“J’onn told me to, okay?” He stepped forward reaching out to her, “I’m-”

Lena recoiled from him, tears falling, “Do not touch me!”

She started walking away, James calling after her, “Lena, please!” She couldn’t speak anymore. She just shook her head and ran off to the nearest empty room.

It was cold. It was empty and cold. Just like her. The whole room was concrete. There were no windows, or furniture, it was bare and cold. The whole time she cried and cried and cried until she couldn’t. Her heels were thrown across the room, one of heels broken from being thrown too hard. She had lost too many people, but she never thought she’d lose Kara. She was dead. She died for the second time. The more Lena thought the more reality set in. What if Kara didn’t come back? Lena had just lost another person she loved right in front of her.

This wasn’t fair. Life has thrown so much shit at her. And she’s dealt with it, but now, now she’s not sure if she can handle it anymore. Lena slid down the wall, her head resting against the cold concrete. Part of her hoped someone would find her but another part wanted to stay in there forever. This wasn’t something she could handle. She was all alone with nobody to help her bounce back from this.

Lena slowly got up and faced the facts: Whether Kara was dead or not, she couldn’t do this, not anymore.  
It was a strange walk back to the main floor. She didn’t care to talk to anyone, see didn’t care that she looked awful. It wasn’t something she cared for when everything just got ripped out from under her.

Alex was sitting on the floor with the defibrillators in her hands. She was crying. Lena stopped and looked at J’onn cleaning up the med bay. Kara was still on her bed, two pillows under her head again. Lena continued walking and passed Alex as she walked into the med bay. J’onn looked at Lena his hands placing an oxygen mask on the large sliver table, “She’s okay now.” He didn’t stop looking at Lena, “Lena, she’ll be fine.”

Lena gave him a weak smile, one she had given to Kara thousands of times, “No doubt…” She walked over to Kara’s bedside and stared at her, “Can you give me a moment?”

J’onn nodded, “Of course.”

Lena waited for J’onn to leave before she grabbed Kara’s hand, “I’m sorry, Kara. I can’t keep this up. I just feel so empty and I don’t think I can keep doing this to myself and after today, I realized without you in my life, I am lost.” She squeezed Kara’s hand, “I love you Kara, but I can’t keep hoping you’ll wake up.” Lena knew what she was doing was selfish but all she was, was a shell. There was no life without Kara and it scared her.

Lena leaned down, “I am so sorry Kara…” She lightly kissed Kara’s forehead, turned and left.

Kara got a kiss from a dead girl. That’s what Lena felt like. Nothing more, nothing less. Just gone, dead, and alone in a world of darkness.

She never went back, not until Lena got a call from Alex saying Kara woke up. She rushed to the DEO but after she crossed the lobby doors, she left. She did that everyday until she drove past the DEO building and took the road as far as she could.

There was nothing she could do. She didn’t want to do anything. After Kara died in front of her eyes, she never felt the same. So, she just shut down and faked when she had to and smiled when she had to just like she would any other day. Sometimes the living seem worse off than the dead and that’s just a horrible fact of life Lena couldn’t shake. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so very sorry but i might continue with another part if you guys enjoy this  
> feel free to yell at me on twitter (@lgbtgardner) or in my cc (@florallemur)


End file.
